The boy many people, myself included, thought I was going to marry for a good part of my adolescent/young adult life is getting married this weekend.
I always thought that if/when he got engaged and then married someone else my heart would break a little and I would spend a good chunk of the weekend crying, but the funny thing is, I’m not.
I fell in love with him when I was 17 years old and I think it took 8 very long years for me to fully fall out of love with him. It took letting myself open up to other people and see how real adult relationships are supposed to work to see that our love was toxic.
The thing I am sad about is that we can’t even be friends. Before we dated he was my best friend. We spent the nights of high school on the phone joking, gossiping, and all the juvenile things you do back then. And then we fell in love. And then we broke up. And for a long time after that we had to learn how to be friends, but in the end, sometimes you just can’t be friends with someone after everything. But in those 8 years we shared birthdays, holidays, graduations, deaths of loved ones, deployments, and more. And now, on one of the biggest days of his life, I do not even get to say congratulations. That’s what breaks my heart. But hey, that’s growing up and moving on right?